So I got the call... well actually I made the call, over and over until they told me what my pathology results were! As I pressed my ear so tightly to the phone not to miss a word, I heard her say it took longer than expected because they had to send it to a second lab for another opinion. MMMM is that good or bad? Well, not great, but could have been much worse, so I am thankful and a little "ugh" at the same time. Funny, the mole I had been concerned about was on my right hip, which was the same leg I had previous melanoma. And of course it became infected a few days after it was removed, making me more worried. But that biopsy was clear. The mole on my back came back "severely atypical" without clear margins.
Now... enter the world of medical terms and pathology reports and verbiage like "clarks level" and "spitz nevus" and honestly who came up with this stuff anyways! It's a little unnerving not being able to confer your own medical results.
Fast forward a few weeks and I was sent to the plastic surgeon and am scheduled tomorrow morning for a larger excision as well as full removal of any moles that look similar to the one with atypical results...that is a total of 6. Now, some of you may have had moles removed in the dermatologists office, and besides that awful few seconds of lidocaine injections it is not all that bad. And since I will be proactively doing this the rest of my life, I need to just get used to it. The problem is... when you are using a plastic surgeon your procedure is done in the hospital. Let me give you a brief synopsis of how that went 2 years ago when I had melanoma.
Scared to death, not sure what to expect or wondering if my world was all the sudden going to change, I was being wheeled back to the OR knowing I was having a large portion of my right thigh removed and totally unsure of what that was going to look like or if I even cared. I quickly realized that the Dr. was not putting me under and in fact I had not received any medication at all yet. Of course, the room was full of nurses including 2 male student doctors, who I'm sure were very nice, but as the nurse removed my blanket and began "prepping" me, being naked and not drugged was feeling pretty humiliating. Who knew your panties were NOT considered sterile for the OR! Thankfully, I had a fantastic friend in her residency and she was able to be in the room and hold my hand, because honestly, you could hear my heart rate pounding out of my chest on the monitors. Between the Christmas music blaring in the background, the chatter between the Dr and nurses staff, my nudity and the 20+ shots of lidocaine, I felt myself slightly loosing it. When all was complete and I got a glimpse of my leg, it kind of looked liked mangled road kill. All the stitches were done inside the leg, under the skin and he did a method of stitching that almost made it look like a ribbon sinched tightly. Little did I know that was genius and it healed beautifully. Now in recovery, I was given a prescription for pain and sent home. Would have been great except for the fact that I have a sensitive stomach... so they repeatedly told me to take my meds round the clock to manage the pain, because it was going to be painful. I diligently set my alarm and took the meds all through the night. By about 5 am the vomiting began. I will spare you all of those details, other than to say, I didn't realize it was the meds until it was wayyyyyy too late and so my wonderful mom had to rescue me and nurse me to health for the next 48 hrs. Not a good combo when your pain meds are not working and your vomiting and you can't even enjoy being pampered with soup, crackers and ginger ale on a tray.
As I am extremely optimistic for tomorrow, I have to be realistic and this time, I will not be entering the OR without a VALUME!
