Babies, babies, babies... doesn't it seem like everyone is having babies? But then what? Even after having 5, I am still so overwhelmed with the notion that you have a baby in the hospital and they just send you home with some diapers and a smile. "Good luck" figuring out how to take care of your little one. The first few days are a blur of excitement, joy, sleep depravation, and a cocktail of drugs dulling the pain. People are visiting in and out, you have nurses taking the baby and coming in every 2 hours to check your vitals, and lets not forget to mention the kitchen staff with the food, facilities, the techs checking the equipment, the hearing screener, birth certificate info collector and of course the lactation nurses to help you try and nurse between all of this chaos! I had all c-sections, so on top of everything I could not move and threw up the entire first day due to the anesthesia.
So if you've had a baby your totally laughing and relating and if you haven't you are having second thoughts! Don't worry all of this happens so fast and is totally worth it when your holding your sweet angel. I like to have some idea of what to expect, don't you? I have been asked a lot of questions from friends on "how to" and listening to tear filled phone calls with many "why's," I am no expert, just a mom with lots of littles, who has learned many things the hard way, and may have picked up some "gems" along the way to offer encouragement to new moms. *I will start tweeting and posting little ideas and tips here and there related to all things and label them #littlegem so be on the look out.
If I told you the story of my first birth plan we might all be crying so I won't, but what I will tell you is that I had "planned" to go all natural, no drugs, with a birthing ball, not sitting in the bed, laboring in the bath, having Nate push on my pressure points, soft music playing in the background and essential oils for a relaxing smell. This was such a picture of peace and serenity! Well ladies this isn't a spa, we are birthing babies here and it is hard work! So the end of that story was 22 hours of labor, babies heart rate dropping several times and off to an emergency c-section! It was not my plan and I was devastated. I think it took almost 3 months for me to even talk about what happened without crying.
We are such planners with "expectations" and "birth plans" in hopes that things will go exactly so, but my first piece of advice is to
"LET GO." It is easy for us to get things planned out in our heads and when the slightest thing goes wrong we can completely loose it. I am not saying don't have a birth plan, in fact I had one with my first baby too, I am saying hold on to it loosely and let the goal be "healthy baby, healthy mom."
After looking back on my birthing experiences, I began to realize this was clearly prepping me for parenthood. As we continued to have children and move on with life, I became more content with the reality that things rarely go as planned and it is more about how you handle situations that will set you up for success or depression. It's ok to be sad and to struggle with the adjustments and disappointments, but
"Be Flexible." Allow yourself the freedom to go with the flow a little. Isn't it funny that we have to go to school for years to be considered "educated" but when it comes to parenting, which is the most valuable thing we will do, there are no requirements. It's great to read books on "What to Expect When Your Expecting" and "Baby Wise" and "The Baby Whisperer" and the list goes on. But the reality is your little one is unique and each one will be different and have different needs. So although you have thousands of books to choose from at Barns and Nobles, the real knowledge comes from the every day things that happen.
Your newborn is crying after being fed and changed but your not sure if they are tired or still hungry or if they have gas or they just want to be held. Your goal in those moments is to take a deep breath and RELAX. Try not to stress out, your baby will sense that and become stressed too. Your not doing anything wrong, you just need begin
"Trial and Error" methods to see what your baby is trying to tell you. It's kind of like being an investigator. The first 3 months, you are barley sleeping and if you choose to nurse, most of your time is spent trying to get them latched properly and making sure they are getting enough. Just remember you are not alone! Ask for help! Don't isolate yourself, and do your best to create a support group of friends that you can connect with on a regular basis.
Do you know what type of baby you have? Angel, Textbook, Spirited, or Grumpy? I learned these names from "The Baby Whisperer," this is my all time favorite book for moms. She categorizes our little ones by personality and I believe this is the best way to figure out their individual needs are. My twins are totally opposite! Adie is a textbook baby, who pretty much follows what is expected. Eats, is awake an hour and then sleeps 2 hours. She is mild tempered and very sweet. She might be partially angel too. :) Arlie is the spirited baby. She is a little feisty and very vocal. Lets you know immediately when she is unhappy and she is a little demanding. Knowing these things about them makes it very easy to figure out what is going on when they are unhappy.
This post is a perfect opportunity to begin a dialog with other moms. Do you have any questions or things you have been wondering about or dealing with at home? Or how about any tips on what you have
learned?
This Weeks Money Saver
The "Trade-In" sale is awesome! This is how we saved hundreds when getting what we needed for the twins. There is no limit here, so if you have 3 used or old car seats, bouncers, pack n plays, swings, strollers, even if they are broken or don't work, you will receive 25% off a new item.
